Who Is Safe? Are You? Am I?
We are not designed to be alone. We are designed to be relational.
Christ modeled this as He walked with people ministering, teaching, encouraging, and loving well. He was really good at being with people. Even though we are not Christ, we can choose to strive to be like Christ in the way we relate to others. But what if experiences have taught us that we cannot trust, others are not safe, and the thought of truly connecting with someone is confusing and scary? What if these same experiences have taught us that relationships only bring hurt and loneliness?
Can relationships become safe?
God designed us to connect with one another; therefore, it is essential to learn about ourselves and other people in relationship. In their book entitled Safe People, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe what a safe person looks like.
*A person who accepts me just like I am.
*A person who loves me no matter how I am being or what I do.
*A person whose influence develops my ability to love and be responsible.
*Someone who creates love and good works within me.
*Someone who gives me an opportunity to grow.
*Someone who increases love within me.
*Someone I can be myself around.
*Someone who allows me to be on the outside what I am on the inside.
*Someone who helps me to deny myself for others and God.
*Someone who allows me to become the me that God intended.
*Someone whose life touches mine and leaves me better for it.
*Someone who helps me love others.
These characteristics serve as cues that a person is safe; that the risk of having this person in your life is worth it. Safe people generally make good friends, partners, and spouses. No one, except Christ, is perfectly safe. Yet, being a safe person allows for Christ-like character to develop within safe relationships. Where do you fit into this list? Are you a safe person?
To learn more about how to be a safe person and how to connect with safe people, contact a Journey clinician today.